Thursday, August 6, 2015

Dear Samuel

My Dearest Samuel,

Tomorrow morning we leave for China to come get you and bring you home. We have waited and dreamed of this day for so long. It doesn't seem real that the time has finally come.
My emotions are all over the place. I'm excited to finally meet you and hold you in my arms. I'm scared because we are strangers to you and I'm worried you may not like us very much at first. I'm sad for you as you say goodbye to all you've known and leave it behind. My heart is torn as I leave your brother and sister behind for a time. But I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful because you will never live another day without an earthly father and mother and probably for the first time you will hear the name Jesus. I'm hopeful that one day you will come to know the Lord as your savior as I do.
One day you may wonder why and possibly morn the fact that your birth parents chose to not parent you. But I want you to know and always remember that you are loved, you were chosen, you are special, you are cherished, and you are right where you were always meant to be. I may not have carried you in my tummy but I have carried you in my heart for years. One day when God allows you to understand you will see how adoption represents the gospel and how we were all orphans and sought after. I have already been praying for your salvation and I won't stop until God calls you to Himself.
I promise to always love you. I promise to put you before myself. I promise to always pray for you. I promise to make you feel safe and cherished. I promise to cuddle you and wipe away your tears. I promise to always be there for you. Most importantly.... I promise to tell you all about Jesus and how you were carefully made and your path in life was known before you were born.
So as we begin our journey tomorrow half way around the world to you, I will continue to pray for your heart and for your nannies at the orphanage that you will say goodbye to. I will be praying that eventually you love us and see us as your parents. I can't wait for the day that you call me Mama and tell me that you love me. But I understand that may take time and I promise to be patient. I will see you very soon my son! Until then my heart will continue to yearn for you!

I love you,

Your Mama

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

When Fear Surrounds Me

Mother's Day was a little bitter sweet for me this year. I wanted to cry at the thought of Samuel being on the other side of the world away from me. I dream about him a lot. Sometimes I remember very vividly what my dreams entail and sometimes I just know it was about him. I wake up often in the middle of the night and wonder what he is doing. I cannot wait to get to him but not looking forward to leaving Austin & Alexa. It's a strange feeling..... Like being torn in two places. But soon we will all be together!!
 We are currently waiting on our I800 approval and then we have another form to fill out. Within the next couple of weeks we will be paying for Samuel's visa to enter the U.S. Each step draws us closer and closer to him. Our hope is that we will leave late July. I may spend my 32nd birthday in China this year.
As of right now we have a little under $7,000 left to raise. We have raised over $30,000 to date. When God called us to this journey we didn't even have $500 in savings. We just got done draining our savings to buy a car with cash so we didn't have any payments and were working on trying to build it back up (I know Dave Ramsey would have had a stroke). We couldn't even afford another child on David's income. But we stepped out because we felt like God wanted us to and He opened the door wide. He provided a better paying job for David within months of us starting the process and He brought all the money in from many different sources all along the way and at just the right time. GOD IS FAITHFUL!!!
But this last chunk of money has brought me great anxiety and fear if I'm honest. More so than all the rest. I know fear is from the devil but I let my flesh take over and the worry begins. I think it's because I see Samuel's face and watch his video and I'm afraid! I'm afraid I won't get to him. I'm afraid if this money doesn't come in he will remain an orphan until it does. Just like the Israelites, I so quickly forget ALL that God has already done and think He can't handle what's ahead. GOD IS FAITHFUL!!! When those fears surface that is my chant!
Since starting this process we have heard from so many people that they would love to adopt or have considered it. But the saddest part to me is that so so many of them didn't do it because of the cost of adoption. It is daunting and can I be really honest and say... Raising it hasn't been easy! At times it's been like a full time job. Not everything we have tried has worked that great, we've been discouraged, and exhausted. But like motherhood, the good outweighs the bad!! We have seen strangers step up and give us money, we have had a few large donations, we have been blessed by the prayers of so many, we have had people give us stuff to sell, people who we never expected to even be able to help us has. We have personally witnessed an army step up and care for the orphan. We are so humbled to be on the receiving end of so many people's generosity.
Because of what I've learned and because of my passion to care for the orphan I have a challenge and an offer. One of you reading this has thought about adoption or would like to adopt. Do you feel a tugging at your heart?? Don't ignore it.... Explore that feeling. Take it to God and ask Him if it's from Him. Prayerfully consider it! If God keeps laying it on your heart don't worry about the money and step out in faith and here is my offer to you..... I will help you raise the money! I will walk this process with you and I will invest my time in your journey so that another orphan can find their forever family. Please send me a message if you want more information about adoption. I would love to help you!
Over the last few weeks when my faith seems to get weak this song has played.... In the car or at the gym on my headphones. Just a reminder that He is faithful & if He is calling you to it He will provide.




"May He equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to Him forever and ever! Amen." 
Hebrews 13:21


Thursday, October 9, 2014

GETTING CLOSER

Many of you saw me post a couple days ago about the documents that we overnighted to Nashville & Tallahassee to have state sealed. Well, the ones from Nashville are back and waiting at FedEx for me to pick up. Unfortunately, David's birth certificate that went to Florida to be state sealed got delayed a day. But it was delivered this morning at 10. Hopefully they will mail it back out today & I'll have it in my hands tomorrow. Next week.... our dossier gets sent to our adoption agency and they will look over it and send it to China. I seriously cried this morning because I am so happy to get to this point.

I have been asked by many why adoption costs so much. For one thing there are many smaller fees and they all add up very quickly. It costs over $70 to overnight those 2 packages to be state sealed and when I go pick it up it will be another $70 because it was overnighted back to us (and you know FL or TN wasn't going to incur that cost). There are seriously fees at every corner not to mention the big ones (country fees, travel & accommodations, required orphanage donation, program fees, legal fees, post adoption fees, etc....). But we KNOW God is faithful and He wouldn't have called us to this if He wasn't planning on providing financially for us to do it debt free.

In the very beginning of this process we were working on our home study and I had a moment of insanity where I thought maybe we should just have another one biologically. I started to get upset that I would never have another positive pregnancy test, never feel my baby move in my womb or get hiccups, or sustain my baby's life alone by the milk my body creates. But I can tell you that even to this point we are at now that we have had amazing moments in this journey that have been just as special. When I got the call that our home study was approved.... I cried tears of joy! When I woke up and tracked my documents and learned that one set is already back and waiting for me to pick up.... I cried tears of joy! When I described the very vivid dream I had last night to David of us in China going to get our son..... I cried tears of joy! When I imagine the day that we will get "the call" that they have a referral for us...... I cry tears of joy! Maybe I won't ever nurse a baby, or carry one in my womb, or hear their first cry as they enter this world. But I will get to pull up his picture on my computer screen and see his face for the first time. I will get to travel a long way and wake up on the other side of the world to go pick up our son. I will get to tell him that I am his mama. I will get to bring him home and introduce him to his brother and sister.

I have been asked before if I think I can love him as much as my biological children and honestly in the very beginning I asked myself the same question. But now I can honestly tell you just like I loved Austin & Alexa when they were tiny beans in my belly, I love this child! The mere thought of him, the reality that he will join us soon, and maybe it won't even be a him but a her. The same instinct that causes you to love the baby that you carry in your womb even before you know the gender or see the first ultrasound is the same instinct that kicks in for me when I think of this child we are working hard to get. He is mine & David's and God knew it when He created him in his biological mothers womb.

I am hoping to be able to announce to you in the next few weeks that we are officially logged into China and beginning our wait for a referral. You know they say it takes a village to raise a child. Well it has and is going to take a village to bring this child home. We still have a lot of money to raise (about $27,000) but I am amazed at the money that has come in right when we needed it. We will owe $2,260 when we mail our dossier to our adoption agency. Because a "village" of very giving people we already have that fee raised. When we receive and accept a referral (a child that they believe is a good fit for us) we will owe $5,400. At that point we will have a picture of his face to show all of you. Of that fee we have already raised about $2,000. Of the $27,000 that we have left to raise about $12,000-$15,000 of that is for travel and accommodations for a 2 week stay in China to get our baby. We are seriously beyond grateful for each and every one of you that has given of your time, money, and have prayed for us!!

Continue to pray that financially God will take care of it and that we won't worry in the least. Pray for our child. My prayer and one that I ask of you to pray with me is that if/when he is abandoned that he is found quickly and taken to an orphanage to get cared for and fed, that he never goes hungry, and that he has a special care taker that sings to him and has a special place in her heart for him and as impossible as it may seem in a very non-christian country I pray that she is a Jesus follower and whispers stories of Jesus in his ear. I pray that his little heart knows that we are coming for him and that he has parents and a brother and sister that are fighting for him, praying for him, and that love him! Will you pray this prayer with me in the name of Jesus?

"Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you." 
John 16:23

Thursday, September 25, 2014

WHY ARE WE ADOPTING ANYWAY?

We get asked a lot, "Why are you adopting?" I even got asked by a man the other day if it was because I couldn't have anymore of my own. For the most part the questions do not offend me in the slightest. I am sometimes surprised by people's boldness but usually not offended. If anything it gives me the opportunity to share about something that I am passionate about and it almost always leads into my faith. So its a win win if you asked me. 
So for those of you that don't know and are wondering here is some answers to some common questions we get....

1) Can you not have anymore of your own? 
Actually I have no issues in that area. All I have to do it say I want to get pregnant and I do. I have been very blessed when it comes to that. I have although had 2 c-sections and I would like to spare my body from another one. They are brutal in my opinion. That door isn't entirely closed though. I am pretty sure we will not have anymore biological children but I can't say for 100% certainty that it won't be God's path for us.

2) Why wouldn't you just adopt here? 
Amos in the Bible was called by God to be a prophet and deliver a message of judgement to the Israelites. As you can imagine, they didn't like what he told them. When Amaziah the priest in the 7th chapter of Amos basically told Amos to go away Amos in verse 15 says, "But the Lord took me from following the flock, and the Lord said to me, 'Go prophesy to my people Israel.'" Basically, Amos is saying, "Hey God told me to come here and do this." That pretty much sums up why we are doing an international adoption as opposed to domestic or why we are adopting at all for that matter. We are following the path God has laid out for us the best that we can.
Bottom line is WE BELIEVE IN ADOPTION!! Domestic, international, foster to adopt..... whatever path God leads you down is not better or worse than the other ones. It's His path for your family. The thing is the orphan crisis is EVERYWHERE. Some places its more prominent than others but it is a sad situation and reality for every country. 

3) Why would you do that? 
Well you can really refer back to #2 to answer this one but I would like to add some to that. In the book of James we are called to care for the orphans. For some that means adoption but that's not God's call to every christian. For us, we had a desire placed in our hearts about 7 years ago for adoption. I remember telling my mother-in-law all those years ago that I felt like we were called to one day adopt. This path has been obvious to us for many years. But it is our path and we don't all have the same one. Maybe you are called to serve in an orphanage in Africa, or foster children here in the US, or financially support a family that is adopting, or volunteer at a women's shelter and help teach them how to parent. That calling looks different for all of us but has a common denominator..... the orphan. 
Also, adoption is the absolute core of our beliefs. I praise God for His adoption plan for us. "He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ...." Ephesians 1:5. Adoption is a beautiful picture of the gospel. 
Lastly, we are called to love. Think about what it means to love one another as we love ourselves. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want to be abandoned by my parents and no one come and give me a home and a family. So if I don't want that for myself and I'm supposed to love others as I DO MYSELF then shouldn't I be willing to do something about it even just for one??  I want my kids to learn how to love others as the Bible calls us to. What is the most effective way in teaching them that? In Proverbs 23:26 Solomon writes, "My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways." My children may listen to what I tell them but they will most definitely mimic what David & I do and say. To teach them to love, we must love and show them by our actions how to do it.

4) But your children are so cute. 
This is a statement and not a question I know but I hear it a lot. It sort of makes me laugh. So does that mean if I adopt a child they won't be cute? I could take this statement and go in many different directions...... like societies standards of what "cute" is and whats not. But all I will say is this.... I completely trust God that this child will be a perfect fit for our family. Whether you believe so or not is not my concern. So to me, he will be cute I just know it! 

I know that there are people that don't agree with what we are doing and that is fine. I can't change your heart and open your eyes and force you to love. But there is one thing I won't tolerate and that's hate. David was told just a couple of days ago by someone who at one time was close to my family that they just can't love one of those people (referring to the Chinese). She doesn't believe we should "bring one of those people over here to marry our people." Wow! So I guess God only created Americans and we are the only ones worthy of living?? Which by the way is anyone really originally an American??? My ancestors are from England & Germany. I guess I'm a foreigner too.... Oh and so is David. Guess we should be deported. 
If you say you are a christian and believe this way then I challenge you to really search your relationship with God and ask yourself how well do you know Him. Because to truly know God is to know His heart for His people that He created.... which by the way is every human being on this planet no matter what your skin color or the country your from. Do you think God enjoys and condones you hating and being down right prejudice to people that He created in HIS IMAGE?? 
I will say this and I am done..... If you can't love Austin, Alexa, and the little one in China waiting for us.... then you can't love me and you don't love me! My highest calling is to motherhood and the children that I am blessed with and that call me mommy. I will stand before God's throne one day and have to answer to how I discipled them and I will protect them with my life. This child we are adopting will be no different for me than the children I birthed from my body. So if you have just down right nasty things to say then you will have no place in my life or my children's. I hate that some will obviously miss out on a blessing but I can't change people. What I can do is protect and disciple my children.... adopted & biological and I fully intend to do just that!  



Monday, June 30, 2014

HOW I LOWERED MY CHOLESTEROL NATURALLY

Many of you have asked me questions about my cholesterol since I posted on facebook about how I lowered it the natural way from 263 to 204 in the last year. Let me start off by saying I am no expert or nutritionist. I have learned a lot along the way and obviously what I learned and implemented has helped. So here is a break down of how my levels have dropped over the last year and what I have done......

Aug. 28, 2013
Cholesterol- 263 (needs to be under 200)
Triglyceride- 153 (needs to be under 150)
HDL (good cholesterol)- 63 (needs to be 40-60)
LDL (bad cholesterol)- 170 (needs to be under 99)

The above was my blood work done when we were doing our physicals for our adoption. I knew it was elevated and had been for several years but I didn't know it was that high. At the time this blood work was done I really wasn't a horribly unhealthy eater. I have always chosen turkey & chicken over ground beef, we love fish and eat it often, I seldom if ever bread and fry my food, I always either bake, grill, or pan sear almost everything in olive oil with some garlic, for dinner we almost always have a meat (usually a pretty lean one) and 2 veggies and we cook almost all our meals at home. So when I went over my diet with my doctor he gave me little hope that I could lower it naturally because my problem seemed to be more of a genetic issue than what I was eating. So for several months I did nothing. The best word I could use to describe my feelings is defeated!
But the closer I got to my next blood draw and doctors appointment the more I started researching and trying to figure out what I could do. I made a few diet changes. Switched to low fat cheese, cream cheese, & sour cream and I went back to using Smart Balance butter. The first of November I began taking fish oil & Red Yeast Rice. I went back to the doctor on January 14, 2014 and here were my results.......

January 14, 2014
Cholesterol- 245
Triglyceride- 179
HDL- 73.6
LDL- 135.6

Still not great but there was some improvement. Although my triglycerides had went up for some reason. Like I said before.... I'm no expert so I have no idea what caused that and haven't really done a whole lot of research to figure it out. But I knew I had more work to do. So I increased my fish oil for one. Below is a picture of the fish oil I take now. I bought it at Walmart.

The other thing I did was began regular exercise. The first of April I started working out 5-6 days a week and even was running some. A little side note here about running..... I hate it!! I gave it about a month and a half and tried my darndest to like it but it never happened. So why do something you hate? The first of June we joined the YMCA. One thing I do love to do is dance! I always have and lets face it I'm not exactly going to go to a club anymore to get my dance on. So I started taking Zumba/Quake classes! They are so much fun & really get that heart rate up and going!!
Prior to joining the Y I was just doing a variety of work out DVDs I already have at home. The ones that worked the best though were Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred & Ripped in 30. But lets face it, doing the same DVDs over and over again gets boring and in my experience you don't push yourself through every move because you have it memorized and know you need to save strength to do what you already know is coming up. But in group classes you not only usually don't know whats coming next but you have a whole class full of people and I swear just their presence causes you to push through and give it all you've got!!
The third thing I started doing was praying about it! I often times don't pray about things for myself. I think sometimes we think we are being selfish or that God has bigger issues to worry about. But I covered it in prayer and I even prayed driving to the doctors office to get my results. God hears us and He wants us to pray boldly.
So then I went back to the doctor for another blood draw to recheck my levels. I knew this was my last chance. If I didn't significantly lower it then he was putting me on prescription medication. I was nervous to go get my results because I knew if they weren't good then that would be so discouraging for me and would quite possibly cause me to just stop trying to be healthy. But I was beyond excited when I heard my levels and I think I can say with confidence that my doctor was a little surprised! Woo Hoo!!!

June 11, 2014
Cholesterol- 204
Triglyceride- 61
HDL- 72.7
LDL- 119.1

It is still a little high and I am having them checked again in December and will probably have to get it rechecked yearly just to make sure it stays down. But I am so proud of what I have been able to do on my own!! Notice my triglycerides compared to the last time! I dropped them 118 points!!! 
For those of you that do struggle with healthy eating, there is this page on facebook that is AWESOME! It's called Foodfitfact and she has the most amazing recipes! Here is a link to it..... https://www.facebook.com/Foodfitfact You must check it out! My main issue with food is that I get bored and I'm not very creative. But Heather comes up with some really great food! Every time she posts something I immediately get hungry.
The most amazing thing that I found because of her page is PB2 (pictured below). I found it at Target. It is powdered peanut butter. I know it sounds weird. I was skeptical but I bought it anyway & I am so glad I did. I try to eat as much natural and organic as I can with very few ingredients as possible. But as much as I have tried to like healthier and organic peanut butter I just haven't found one that compares to Peter Pan. Well, I can honestly say I like PB2 better!! PB2 has 45 calories as opposed to 210 in PP, 1.5 grams of fat as opposed to 17. It's awesome and it tastes amazing!! You have to try it if you are a peanut butter fan like I am. You just mix it with water! Buy it.... I promise its amazing!
I am no nutritionist but I do have a few rules I personally try to follow when it comes to food:

1) If I buy it I will eat it! I try to enter the grocery store with the right mind set and stay away from
the junk entirely (although I'm not perfect and sometimes I fail miserably).

 2) I try not to make some imaginary list of things that are completely off limits. For example, I love a good Mountain Dew every now and then or a Dr. Enuf. But every time I have tried to go cold turkey I fail miserably and crave it even more. Now I allow myself a soda a couple times a week and I increased my water intake. I have a 33 oz. Camelbak cup and I drink at least 2 of those a day. That alone has helped more than I ever imagined at curbing my craving for soda. I hate diet drinks and in my opinion if I'm going to drink soda I might as well go big or go home! Haha

3) I try to make sure as much of my cart as possible is from the produce section or the meat dept. of the grocery store. If you can grow it or kill it..... then eat it! There are things that I buy in the other isles but my goal is as much as possible for my family needs to be natural and not processed.

Now I bend my own rules a lot and its a daily battle to eat only whats good for me and every now and then I have to fulfill my craving for some Chick-Fil-A with those delicious waffle fries. These are just some personal "rules" I've made for myself that have helped me a lot. I have been on a healthy food journey for a while now and it has been very gradual. As I learn more I adjust my diet accordingly. It seems to me that if you change everything all at once you fail much easier than if you make gradual changes. After all this isn't a crash diet.... its gradual changes that will last a life time. Let's be clear... I still eat like crap sometimes and I love sugar!! So don't judge if you see potato chips in my cart at the grocery store one day. Because I do eat them every now and then along with other not so healthy stuff. : )
So if you have any questions don't ask me.... ask a nutritionist or your doctor!! Haha These are just the things that have worked for me and I'm still a work in progress!
          


Thursday, June 5, 2014

GOOD NEWS

I just finished watching a movie about Peter, one of the 12 disciples of Jesus Christ. Like always I wept as the movie played out the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. I admire Peter's boldness in sharing this good news with the world even when he faced his death. I like to think that if a gun was held to my head and I faced death if I didn't deny Jesus, that I would stand firm in my faith. But would I?? After all, even Peter denied Jesus 3 times. Is my faith strong enough to die for the one who died for me?? I pray that it is!! I pray that I would be willing to lose my life on earth to gain it in Heaven. I pray that I would never deny Him!

Peter challenges me to share Jesus with the world. Why would I deny someone the cure to death? Why wouldn't I tell you? If I had the cure to cancer would I keep it to myself? NO. So why would I keep this to myself? Cancer may take our earthly bodies but our souls were created to live on with our Heavenly Father if we choose to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. THAT is a truth worth shouting from the rooftops!!!

God did not intend for things to be the way they are. He created us for himself and we weren't meant to live with cancer, heartache, divorce, sexual immorality, deceit, anger, sickness, mental illness, etc... But the Devil sought to destroy this perfect world God had created. He is the ultimate deceiver and deception is exactly the tactic he used with Adam & Eve. When Adam & Eve disobeyed God and ate from the forbidden tree our world was changed drastically and the flood gates of sin and the consequences of them opened up. They could no longer walk with God in the garden as they had before. He is too holy and righteous to be in the presence of sinful beings like us. We were separated from Him. THAT is the bad news! But my friends, God made a way for us and it is an amazing truth of rescue and redemption!

Jesus was born into this world as God in the flesh. Lived among the sinfulness of the humanly flesh that is in us and yet lived a perfect life free of any sin. He was the perfect, unblemished sacrifice!  He taught love and service. He taught that to be first we must be last. He came to bring us inner peace and to offer fulfillment of our souls. He came to bridge the gap between us and the creator of the world, our Heavenly Father, God. His life was given up to be the ultimate sacrifice. All of Heaven looked away as He hung on the cross with all our filthy sins laid upon Him. He died the death we all deserve but because of a love that we simply cannot understand, He willingly gave His life up. He took our place. "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." (John15:13)

The beauty of all this is that all we have to do is accept this gift of atonement. When we do, God looks upon us and sees the righteousness of Jesus instead of our sin.  Jesus becomes our high priest, our intercessor. His death forever removed the barrier that separated us from God's holy presence. Praise God for setting out on a rescue mission so that we may be adopted sons and daughters and enjoy an inheritance that we were born undeserving of.  Can you imagine eternal life in a heavenly home where we will no longer experience heartache, pain, and suffering? That is the inheritance that He wants to freely give to us!

If you died today do you know what would happen to you? Are you sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have placed saving faith in Jesus Christ? Have you truly allowed the Holy Spirit to take up residence in your heart and dictate your path and govern your life?

Jesus said in John 14:6, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me." Will you accept Jesus as the bridge to God the father? If you deny Him, He will deny you before God.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
 
WILL YOU COME TO HIM AND FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS??


Monday, April 14, 2014

GOD IS IN THE WAIT

So, its been a while since I posted an update on our adoption status. Well the reason why is because not much has been happening. We halted everything for a few weeks while we waited on a response from Ethiopia and to get an update as to how much the wait times were effected.

So here is the bad news first.... Bethany Christian Services (our adoption agency) has yet to give an update to estimated wait times to get a referral. For those of you that are not familiar with that term, a referral is when they send you information on a particular "adoptable" child in your range of specifications and you pretty much say yay or nay to adopting them. The last update we got from Bethany was 31-33 months before we would receive a referral. For the past 2 or 3 months all they would say was that they were expecting that wait time to lengthen but could not determine by how long. There has been very very little movement going on in Ethiopia. Very few children are getting matched to families each month.

Now I am NOT saying anything at all bad about our adoption agency. I actually highly recommend them. They really are great and have the best interest of these children in mind. They literally have no control over the whole situation in Ethiopia and they are not giving estimated wait times because they just haven't been able to get a really good idea at this time.

So, the whole wait time issue has never sat well with me even from the beginning. It just saddened me to think we would wait that long while children are dying and being orphaned at alarming rates in Ethiopia as well as other countries. I have been so upset I have cried, so mad I can't stand it, and so confused I laid awake at night pondering the whole situation. For months we prayed every single day, several times a day and you know what?? God was pretty silent (or so I thought).

One day we had even decided just to switch to domestic adoption and I was going to call our counselor with Bethany the next morning and tell her. Loud and clear that night during our study group at church God said "WAIT." Over that next week all I heard was "wait" and "adoption." Honestly, it confused me and frustrated me. I kept thinking, "Okay God, I know I know. We are adopting and why are you saying wait?"

Well, when we first applied to adopt internationally through Bethany we were given countries that we were pre-approved for (this was back in June or July of 2013). Each country has their own set of rules and standards based on income, length of marriage, children in the home presently, etc. Based on what we were approved for really the only country that seemed feasible was Ethiopia. We couldn't leave the country for 6 weeks so that canceled out Uganda and South Africa and we weren't comfortable with moderate to severe special needs so that pretty much canceled out the rest (of the countries Bethany has partnerships with). Several countries basically only offer their moderate to severe special needs children to international adoption.

With that being said, we truly felt God wanted us to go Ethiopia and I honestly believe He did momentarily. He gave us a heart for Ethiopia and I am excited to see what He does with that one day (maybe our next will come from there?). But for now He has clearly opened another door for us.

We have officially changed course and have chosen to go with the China mild/correctable special needs program. Now let me just tell you how God has worked this out.... When we first applied to adopt with Bethany we didn't even qualify for China because David didn't make enough money to meet their requirements. We turned in our home study paperwork in November 2013 & on December 1st, 2013 David started a new job making more money (just the exact right amount to qualify us for China). Also, when we began this process we weren't open to any kind of "special need." God has really done some major stuff in our lives over the last several months to open our eyes to the children that few seem to want because they aren't "perfect." 

Side note here.... Can I just give some of you encouragement if you are in a period of waiting and you feel God is a little silent? He is in the waiting and He has the most perfect reason for it and He wants you to draw nearer to Him during this time and change and mold you. We have had several delays and He controlled those as well. We mailed our home study paperwork to Bethany in November. It should have been done by late January to early February. David's job change delayed that because we had to redo some paperwork and get his new company to send an employment verification letter in to Bethany. He had to work on getting someone to do that in Memphis with his company and it took months. Ugh.... I was beyond annoyed and frustrated. Now I am thankful for it!! Then some officials in Ethiopia announced that they really wanted to stop international adoption all together and if not stop it then change many of the laws and essentially make it more difficult and lengthen the wait times. We waited for about 6 weeks just to hear an announcement from Ethiopia about a decision. They finally announced they didn't intend to close international adoption but didn't make clear what would be changed. Oh and our adoption counselor went on maternity leave in the middle of all of this.

So, because we were tired of waiting, without clear direction from God, we told our stand-in adoption counselor that we would go ahead and proceed with Ethiopia and that we wanted our home study done as soon as possible. Well, almost 3 weeks went by and we heard nothing from her. Poor thing she knew nothing about us and I'm sure our file was just thrown in her lap.  In those 3 weeks though  God showed us China and the mild/correctable special needs program. We (well mainly David) had never thought about it prior to this but we actually qualified for it now. Our current estimated wait times for a referral is 1-6 months for a boy and 6-18 months for a girl. Since we have not specified gender.... I'm thinking a BOY! But that's in God's hands and we know that He already knows who are child is.

So what this means for us now is that we are going to have to raise about $25,000 more much quicker than before! Would you consider supporting us financially? If you can't or don't feel led, please pray that God will provide the funds and unite us with our little one.

You can donate by going to our fundraiser website:  www.youcaring.com/wallaceadoption


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11