Thursday, August 6, 2015

Dear Samuel

My Dearest Samuel,

Tomorrow morning we leave for China to come get you and bring you home. We have waited and dreamed of this day for so long. It doesn't seem real that the time has finally come.
My emotions are all over the place. I'm excited to finally meet you and hold you in my arms. I'm scared because we are strangers to you and I'm worried you may not like us very much at first. I'm sad for you as you say goodbye to all you've known and leave it behind. My heart is torn as I leave your brother and sister behind for a time. But I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful because you will never live another day without an earthly father and mother and probably for the first time you will hear the name Jesus. I'm hopeful that one day you will come to know the Lord as your savior as I do.
One day you may wonder why and possibly morn the fact that your birth parents chose to not parent you. But I want you to know and always remember that you are loved, you were chosen, you are special, you are cherished, and you are right where you were always meant to be. I may not have carried you in my tummy but I have carried you in my heart for years. One day when God allows you to understand you will see how adoption represents the gospel and how we were all orphans and sought after. I have already been praying for your salvation and I won't stop until God calls you to Himself.
I promise to always love you. I promise to put you before myself. I promise to always pray for you. I promise to make you feel safe and cherished. I promise to cuddle you and wipe away your tears. I promise to always be there for you. Most importantly.... I promise to tell you all about Jesus and how you were carefully made and your path in life was known before you were born.
So as we begin our journey tomorrow half way around the world to you, I will continue to pray for your heart and for your nannies at the orphanage that you will say goodbye to. I will be praying that eventually you love us and see us as your parents. I can't wait for the day that you call me Mama and tell me that you love me. But I understand that may take time and I promise to be patient. I will see you very soon my son! Until then my heart will continue to yearn for you!

I love you,

Your Mama