In late 2005, after being married for 2 years, David and I were pleasantly surprised to find out we were expecting our first child. I say surprised because I had myself pegged as the one that would have to try for months or years to be able to conceive. I am not really sure why I thought that..... maybe it was just a fear. So after only 2 months of not actively preventing it.....boom there it was! A positive pregnancy test! I remember David beaming with happiness and me....well.... I was scared to death. But I quickly got over the shock that hey.... I was actually pretty fertile after all and was excited to have my dream of motherhood coming true!
I was due on August 17th, 2006 but at our appointment at 9 weeks in January 2006, we went into the ultrasound room excited to see our baby bouncing around in my belly only to find out that it didn't have a heart beat. We were shocked, devastated, and disappointed. For the next year and a half we waited. Waited for God to say when we would begin our journey as parents. Waited until God worked out our finances to bring me home from work so I could raise our children full time. It was a horrible wait filled with many tears and questions. God allowed me to quit my job in March of 2007 and ironically on August 16th, 2007 (1 day shy of being exactly a year that our first baby was due) we found out we were expecting Austin!
That same shock, devastation, and disappointment is ever present in our lives right now. It feels as if we have suffered another loss. There are some high up officials in Ethiopia that are trying to put an end to international adoption. They want to promote inter-country adoption to a much greater degree. Which would be great in a perfect world but we are talking about one of the poorest countries in the world. People are dying over there of starvation and preventable diseases at alarming rates. They cannot place the almost 5 million orphans even with international adoption open. If this law is put into effect, it will be devastating for the orphans over there and devastating for the hundreds of families that are financially and emotionally invested in adopting a child from there. They may not close the country to international adoption but there will most likely be some laws changed to make it much more difficult.
So is this a door that God is closing or is this the Devil trying to discourage us? For us to change course right now would be heartbreaking. Our hearts are attached to Ethiopia. I feel like my family is there....like they are apart of me.... like they are my people! Maybe God wanted to create a place in our hearts for Ethiopia for other reasons and this is how he has chosen to do that or maybe he wants us to move forward and trust that he will take care of the rest. Right now we really have no idea how God wants us to proceed. We are waiting...... waiting for his response..... waiting for his guidance.
In the end we just want to do what God wants us to do. We know that He has a child picked for us and we just want to be on the path that He wants us on that will ultimately lead us to that child. Will you join us in prayer? Pray for Ethiopia and for God to move mountains on behalf of those orphans. Pray that he will burden the hearts of the officials and those making the decisions to do what is ultimately in the best interest of the orphans. Pray for us and the other families in limbo as we wait to hear what is going to happen. Pray for advocates in Ethiopia and around the world to speak up on behalf of orphans and vulnerable children. Pray for international adoption to remain open. More than I want you to pray for us and our decision..... I am asking and begging you to pray for the orphans that desire and deserve to be apart of a family.
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Hebrews 11:1 NLT
